Movie Review: Jelly Blobs of Doom
by NewbiaTheElf
Summary: A movie reviewgame guide to Jelly Blobs Of Doom


Movie Review: Jelly Blobs of Doom!  
  
In a world where everything is made out of jelly, it's eat or be eaten. It was a time of war, a time of heroes. He was a Chomby. A very hungry Chomby. There was only one who could help him fulfill his destiny.  
  
The Good: The special effects are amazing! I left the theater hungry. And the plot is quite intriguing.  
  
The Bad: Frankly, the plot could be interesting but instead they opt for non-stop action-is it just me or is the whole movie about the Chomby dodging and eating Giant Jellies, as though it were some sort of game? Don't take your kid to see this even if it is a game, you don't want to teach them cannibalism. Plus, the main character (Hungry Chomby Tim) is quite stupid. He needs a guide to how to dodge these Jellies, and he keeps on being eaten and then escaping in several ridiculous scenarios (the Jellies are not melted by water, they're melted by uranium, silly!). Tim, take these tips:  
  
*If you're losing control on the slippery floor, simply push the key opposite of which direction you are going in. If you are slipping to the right, hit the left key. This will make you stop in your tracks since going right and going left at the same time cancel each other out. You shouldn't be running anyway. Simply move to where you want to go to, and stay there until the jelly comes to you, and if you don't move, you won't slip. Practice slipping and sliding in control anyway, though, just in case you must move.  
  
*To consider your self "bigger" then a jelly blob, that means in every way-height and width. Mentally box the jelly in a square and yourself in a square and make sure you have a bigger square, because sometimes you'll be longer then a jelly but still eaten, so your tail and head will be sticking out of the jelly.  
  
*Not sure if that Jelly Blob is bigger then you? Don't take a chance. Avoid it like that big blue one that says "press the spacebar to begin." Another, smaller jelly blob will come again. You know when you whine, "I was SO bigger then that jelly blob"? Well, you're right, you are. But it's a game and it has an odd sense of size.  
  
*In fact, as a general rule you should be as careful as possible and don't risk your life for a jelly even if it is most certainly smaller then you.  
  
*Play on Fullscreen or at least extra large. On normal mode you are really tiny and hard to see, and it's hard to compare yourself to the Jelly Blobs to see if you're bigger then them. Plus, the game works slower on a larger screen, which makes it easier for you to control the chomby.  
  
*Strive for perfection. If your average score is 20 but on a good day you'll get 30, always strive for 30. The many times you'll be re-playing will count as practice, and you'll always get a better score until 30 becomes your average score and you strive for 40. If you re-play to practice it's best to do it when if a freak accident happens and you get a super-high score, you can send your score instead of crying that you've already played three times.  
  
*Stay away from the edges. A jelly blob might appear from nowhere and eat you, sometimes without you even seeing them because they appear the second you touch the edge. If you have to go past the edge to get to the other side, make sure it will actually help you catch the jelly in time, and make sure there are no big jellies near the edge that you'll crash into. Pay attention when you're going past the edge (especially if you're small and hard to see) you don't want to lose sight of yourself when you disappear for a second and not be able to dodge a jelly.  
  
Grade: B-  
  
Jelly Blobs of Doom, opening in theaters everywhere 14th Day of Celebrating, Y8  
  
Directed by Steven Coughman  
Jim Chopizi: Hungry Chomby Tim  
Tim Merzawak: Hungry Chomby Jim  
Kewl_dude787: Various Jelly blobs  
  
Based on the book "Jelly Land Is Completely Fake But If It Wasn't This Would Take Place There" by Wordy McWord.  
  
PG-13 for graphic violence. 


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